The hug alarm

It seems in this new phase of our lives needs where we all need a little extra encouragement, grace, given peace, and love. I was saving this post for the future as we start into long summer days enjoying each other, but here we are for a time being and we have started our favorite summer tradition already.

This past summer we (I) implemented a new family plan. THE HUG ALARAM. Ok, if you spent any time with us this past summer you are laughing at me already because you know about it. I wanted to share because it came about through research and thought, plus it was a good fit for our family. Some of our friends even chimed in when they were around. It’s simple, set your phone alarm for several time everyday. Mine is 11, 2, 4, and 7. At each of those times my “hug” alarm sounds and whoever is near gets a big hug! At this point we are used to it and we all hug, and even go on the hunt to find another to hug. Try it. It’s so easy, and it’s so good!

I read last year about the effects of hug on the body. I am not or do not have the love language need of physical touch. It's just now high on my needs list. But what I have found over the years is that it is high on the needs list for some of my children, and actually for young adolescent girls even more so that normal.

I read that when raising young girls it is difficult to fill their emotional tank. It's a constant pouring in and still never feels enough. BUT hugs are one of the easiest things that we can offer to our kids as their parents to fill their emotional tank and gives support. I actually found TONS of reasons for the health of hugs...

Here are a few:

1. Hugs create a physical bond and give children security in your words of affirmation
2. Hugs actually help children grow, by releasing oxytocin, you have heard of this when related to newborns. This actually can boost your immune system by having constant and regular hugs
3. Hugs help communication because it fosters a deeper connection
4. It lowers stress levels

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/health-benefits-hugging-ncna920751

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/children-hugging/

"Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough.

So, how many hugs should you have a day for optimal health? According to the best science, we should have as many as possible if we want to reap the greatest positive effects.

Unfortunately, most Western people today — especially people in the United States — are touch-deprived. Many people live solitary or busy lives with reduced social interaction and touching.

Our modern social conventions often push people not to touch others who aren’t directly related to them. However, it seems people could benefit a lot from touching others a bit more.

So, if you want to feel better about yourself, reduce your stress, improve communication, and be happier and healthier, it seems that giving and asking for more hugs is a good place to start.

If you feel nervous about seeking out more hugs, start by asking for them from friends and family members closest to you first.

Science proves that regular hugs with those closest to you, even if brief, can have especially positive effects on your brain and body."

"Shekar Raman, MD told Huff Post:  “A hug, pat on the back, and even a friendly handshake are processed by the reward center in the central nervous system, which is why they can have a powerful impact on the human psyche, making us feel happiness and joy… And it doesn’t matter if you’re the toucher or touchee. The more you connect with others — on even the smallest physical level — the happier you’ll be.”https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/science-says-hug-child-15-seconds/

*Now this little experiment was for my family. My advice is not for everyone. Not everyone has a mom that lacks the love language of physical touch, and not everyone has a home where it is safe to hug those in your family situation. Let is also be said that we are not forcing hugs to anyone outside of our family. That is a different discussion with different data.  Act with discretion. BUT if you needed this boost of information... run away with it. It has changed us and will stay.