STOP and smell the roses

STOP.

"You can do nothing about the past, so just let it go. You cannot know the future, so put it aside. Meet me here and now—in this moment of time. Trust that I am with you, watching over you wherever you go." -Jesus Calling for Kids

"Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." -Psalm 143:8

Be still.This is a call for those involved in the war to stop fighting, to be still. The word stillis a translation of the Hebrew word rapa, meaning “to slacken, let down, or cease.” In some instances, the word carries the idea of “to drop, be weak, or faint.” It connotes two people fighting until someone separates them and makes them drop their weapons. It is only after the fighting has stopped that the warriors can acknowledge their trust in God. Christians often interpret the command to “be still” as “to be quiet in God’s presence.” While quietness is certainly helpful, the phrase means to stop frantic activity, to let down, and to be still. For God’s people being “still” would involve looking to the Lord for their help (cf. Exodus 14:13); for God’s enemies, being “still” would mean ceasing to fight a battle they cannot win.

Know that I am God.Knowin this instance means “to properly ascertain by seeing” and “acknowledge, be aware.” How does acknowledging God impact our stillness? We know that He is omniscient (all-knowing), omnipresent (present everywhere), omnipotent (all-powerful), holy, sovereign, faithful, infinite, and good. Acknowledging God implies that we can trust Him and surrender to His plan because we understand who He is.
Read more: http://www.gotquestions.org/be-still-and-know-that-I-am-God.html#ixzz3eI3M1AT7

Be still and know that I’m with you

Be still and know that I am here

Be still and know that I’m with you

Be still, be still, and know

When darkness comes upon you

And covers you with fear and shame

Be still and know that I’m with you

And I will say your name

If terror falls upon your bed

And sleep no longer comes

Remember all the words I said

Be still, be still, and know

And when you go through the valley

And the shadow comes down from the hill

If morning never comes to be

Be still, be still, be still

If you forget the way to go

And lose where you came from

If no one is standing beside you

Be still and know I am

Be still and know that I’m with you

Be still and know I am

"The Fray"

What got me here to today? Grace.

It got you here in your place today too. 

What day is tomorrow. Don't know. Chemo brain. I am totally struggling here.
What do I do today?

Just be.
With my kids.
Be.
Love my husband.
Just love.

How do we make this transition?
We just do.
We do today's and tomorrow's and we don't do more now. 

Do I feel like I can't plan ahead? Somewhat but not in fear.
Do I want to go back to what I just conquered the past 8+ months, no not at all!
Do I want to be who I was before cancer changed my life? No I can't be.
I want to move ahead, but my ahead will never be what it was before. So its all new. 

I'm just thankful. For this air I breathe. For all things as gifts, for this chance, to do this life well. And as I fail and get up again I trust God has me when I go forward and probably fail again. 

How many days will I do this until I have to  get up and go. How many days will I still wake up and wonder? God why do you have me in this place, and what can I do to honor you through it.  Hopefully by the time the school year starts and all those crazy start running rampant and I fight back wanting summer, I will know how to do more than a day at a time. but for now I'm just doing. Just this and no more. Not looking for more, just trying to be more still. Be watchful friends of the things we fill our quietness with, because it is those things that take our mental and spiritual heart away from the one who deserves it. 

I am feeling well. I mean my stamina is squat compared to how it has been before. I want to feel strong again, but I have a lot of work to do. It will come, I have hope in that. I also know that there I need to have much weight in being strong because there is no time when I can be certain that in a moments time I can be fighting hard again. I still want to nap, and sit often. In this state I am much more relaxed and spend more time with the kids playing, or reading. Its good for me in this chapter of my life. Cancer treatment recovery mode. My leg is causing me some pain, and I see a neurologist in a few weeks to see if there is more we can do. Its likely permanent nerve damage with little options to fix it, but things that can help. I keep fighting a thrush infection in my mouth on and off. My body has been under incredible stress for very many months. Im not sure how best to combat this but we are working on it. Emotionally I am just at a place like I said before. Thankful to go ahead, but not sure exactly how to go about it. It is more of a process than I can just explain, but if you are a cancer survivor you know exactly the language I am speaking when I say that. It won't slow you down, but it just changes things.