1 year post op

This past week marked 1 year since my large left groin complete lymph node dissection. It's only been a year! I hardly remember much of going through that whole process, it was fogged by the complicated life we were entering into. Days were about fighting through one thing at a time for me. Thoughts of the possibilities of changes after the surgery were an after thought since there was no questions whether it was going to be done. We were simply pushing through. And we did, we made it to the 1 year post op mark. (see perspective scars to the right)

I visited my surgeon this week for my appointment. I drove to Hershey for the appointment but before was running up to welcome a new little miracle life into the world. What a difference it made going into the hospital for new birth instead of the cancer center for hard life. Every person I passed I wondered what event they were driving into the hospital for. Was it hard, was it celebration, was it both...

My new surgeon (who took over since my doc moved) was happy with my progress. I have done pretty well. I have not had much lymphodema to this point. My pain is a common aftermath of the cutting and removing that was done to my body. It is probably here to stay. I weaned off taking all the nerve meds to see if my pain grew substantially, it did now. So that is good news, upsetting news is that it is what it is. I'm NED though, so in my mind dealing with some repercussions of nerve damage and swelling is going to be ok. I actually won't even complain much seems like nothing compared to what things could be, or what others have.

Overall the appointment was super long and super boring. I will take boring for as many days as I can. It's never a normal visit to see an oncologist surgeon at any cancer center but it was boring. I will continue to see her every 6 months for several years.

I need to pray more for boring.

I need to pray more for complete restoration.

I need to ask with complete trust that God can heal, and will answer.

Be thankful for your boring. Sharing your story doesn't always mean it has to be hard stuff, uncommon stuff, painful stuff. Sometimes vulnerability can be expressing contentment and God's goodness. Telling your story of what was hard and being birthed into a walk of new life, and perhaps even a season of boring and thankfulness. So many are walking a daily battle of what this life looks like, what our purpose it, how to come by it, and how to do it all right.

Being open, sharing your life, doesn't mean you have to make up something out of nothing. Your story, just the way it is today, is worth it. You don't have to make up impossible to be recognized, you don't have to stand out to be noticed, God used EVERYONE and he's using you. No matter the significance you feel your story is or not. HE matters not us.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5

Blessed are the meek, do you see it? Blessed are those who hunger for righteousness, those who are pure in heart, those who make peace.... It doesn't say blessed are those who make this life about them and all their troubles. Maybe we need to see our trouble as a way to proclaim God's goodness more. There are others going through this life in the same walk you are. They need to know you are making it. Hopefully then they can see God's saving Grace in and through his saving my life. I hope I can humbly make this life more about what I went through and how God's hand guided me through it and will continue to walk me through it.

"The quietness and openness and vulnerability of meekness is a very beautiful and a very painful thing. It goes against all that we are by our sinful nature. It requires supernatural help. And that help is available, thank God!" John Piper

I had my little nurses with me today at my blood draw appt. Ella asked 50 times if I was going to be ok. It was a lot of blood :) 50 pages worth of tests :) The nurse even thought it was a crazy amount of tests, I said welcome to my life. I usually get all my blood work when I am at PENN, today I went to a local lab and just had it send to my oncologist.  We celebrated with cream soda dumdums and went on our way. Just another day at the office here.