Sometimes good to remember sometimes good to forget

On this day four years ago I woke up and faced what was the most terrifying day of my entire life thus far.

I had been told that the surgery a month earlier plus confirmation through PET imaging revealed cancer that had metastasized into my lymphatic system. I would have what was called a Complete Lymph Node Dissection of my Left Groin Lymph nodes. A surgery that would last upwards of 6 hours with a medical team of over 10 specialist, including the head skin oncology surgeon. They would cut up my leg across my groin to remove all of the lymph nodes and tissue surrounding. It took my doctors and their assistants over an hour to discuss the side effects and complications that this type of surgery would bring to my life. There was no alternative plan or choice.

I woke up on that day, September 19th 2014, and faced to my eyes what seemed impossible. The days following were filled with the most pain I have lived through. Yet, I look back today and see details that were being spun by a God who works miracles in ways which our hearts and eyes cannot fathom. He has been so good. He answered the prayers that day of thousands of faithful servants on their knees for me. There are still days where I meet someone who tells me of the prayers they lifted up. I am breathing in life today because God answered prayers.

Sometimes we move ahead and forget such moments in our lives. Other days we remember as a way to be reminded of God's healing victories over our lives. This morning I woke up, put my face flat on the ground and thanked God for my life today. What transpired after this event is a beautiful story of God's guiding and protecting, his faithfulness and kindness. Still today I am awe of my own story, it still plays out each day in my ministry, and my own physical and emotional circumstances. Yet again and again I have confidence that God works deeply in affliction and not just in the absence of it.

What are you thankful for today?

"You do not need to face cancer to see the value of looking for and naming the graces in your own moments, days, weeks, lifetime" -Kara Tippets

"So take seriously the story that God has given you to live. It's time to read your own life, because you story is the one that could set us all ablaze" Dan Allender, Truth Be Told

My journal entry for the morning of Sept 19th
Some days are harder than others. Some days I wake up ready to face the day. I am ready to face the day. I am anxious and telling myself truth. I wish I had answers but wonder is this Lord how you will take me? It is my goal to serve you in this time and in these circumstances the best I am able.
The reality is God, I am really scared. God give me the peace today to know in the times ahead that my ultimate home is with you and that I was created for this day that lies ahead. Help me to love others today as much as I can to show you are all they need. I do not know what I will wake up to, but bring me peace knowing that you already do. Be with Kevin, my babies that do not understand, and my parents bridging that gap for us in the coming days. Help me to remain constant in faith. Amen.