Victory

If there is one thing to love about these long exhausting days it’s revisiting that ever changed perspective. You just can’t look at life the same, you can’t look at people the same, you can’t look at doctors the same, or nurses, or receptionist, or the lady by herself at the restaurant table, or the waiter, or the gas station clerk, or Starbucks barista... you get it. 

Made in his image I kept thinking. There is a God the rules and reigns yet knit each intricate beautiful human face in their mother’s womb. How can HE love ME? It’s impossible to fathom in our human minds but it’s promised. I have felt his kindness to me, the way he has shown his love uniquely by knowing my needs, likes, and personality. If it were not so how would all these coincides be explained? The only answer is I know what I see and what I cannot. Faith. "Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." (Heb. 11:1) 

Whether you have disaster today or reconciliation, he can move mountains and make peace. 

I told Kev at dinner I just look at everyone and see them so differently. Maybe it’s just that after a day in that place you feel and see the weight of the struggles that you know are so real. Or it’s called Mercy, you don't want it for them and your heart hurts for them.  I want to know their stories, I want to hug more, I want to listen to them and love them. This is the change cancer has done to me. And for that I am thankful. I get this smack in the face every several months where I see it and face it, feel it and live it. I had no idea what would break my heart but God did, and he worked a miracle inside of me. 

What miracle is working inside of you? 

He’s doing something. In celebration, in grief, in waiting and in action. 

He is doing something. Do you see it? 

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

What is stirring in you? 

Do not try to push it down. Let it rise up friends. 

God can do something with anything. All he wants is a mustard seed size of faith. 

Today was long. Early scans, IV’s, waiting, lunch with Kev, lab draws, and cancer conversations with Oncologist. We got great news today. Perfect she said. “Your scans are perfect” 

I had run to the bathroom right before the doctor came in. When walking into the room her and Kev were catching up and we got into a conversation about Halloween costumes and kids. You guys, I had TOTALLY forgot about the results I had been waiting for all day. That is the peace that passes understating, that is the peace you prayed for. Because the Joanna we all know would have been knocking down doors to get to the point. Finally, she brought it up and told us great news. So matter of fact. 

She checked every inch of my skin, we talked about my poor immune system and how there are a few things, she's the most thorough...but today, it’s NOT cancer. So I will sit in this. I will praise Jesus for answered prayers. I will thank him for renewed life with each breath I’ve been given. And I will surrender everything to him again, giving back to him all trust, honor, and praise.  

"God did not design us to keep joy to ourselves. He means for our joys to be shared. Don’t be selfish with good news. The Lord Jesus is indeed working in your life so that you can pray the words of Psalm 9:1, “I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.” -Chad Ashby

Today is God's victory. This is all the work he has done. 

Tomorrow will be a new day, with new mercies. 

I’ll go back to mom life, visit my friends, work hard on my Radiant Hope ministry, and continue to tell God’s story. 

But I won’t forget today. 

I won’t forget God’s faithfulness again.  

I’ll pray for all those who need prayer more than me, but I’ll also pray that for the rest of my life I’ll never forget these days. 

My welcome home team. If this doesn't bring tears then when your friend hands you all four kids lunches packed that will.