Thanksgiving 2015

11 years since I married my guy. And its been an amazing journey so far. Doing life with him by my side, supporting me and taking care of me, is a very special gift. This morning he helped gather up all the kiddos and we ran our first 5k post cancer at the 2015 Turkey Trot. I had to tell him a couple times not to leave me, but he didn't and we had survived. The kids did too. Today will be spent loving my hub and my kiddos and enjoying all the love and the people that are here. Last year I didn't know what this year would look like, didn't even know if I would see it. Next year none of us are promised what we have today, so see the blessings because they are there. I want to bask in this moment.

It's been a year since the Thanksgiving that I finally learned how to really be thankful. How to see the good in the hard and the tough parts of life, and how to actually be thankful through it. 

This year as I reflect a bit on where I am and where I've come from, thankfulness seems to be something I mention everyday. Someone asks how I am doing, I'm thankful, because really I am. It's hard to complain about much of anything although there could be a long lost, but instead I choose thankfulness. In being thankful I have found more joy, in my circumstances and my life, and in trying to live and be an encouragement I find joy. 

Since my diagnosis and maybe since starting Radiant Hope too, life seems to be inundated with people walking through some really hard stuff. What I've been through has broken my heart for others, and it's been a clear to me in how to seek thankfulness, change a mindset in the middle of hopelessness and be thankful. This thanksgiving I know too many dear friends who are going to struggle through this week. Who are going to search and search for something to be thankful for, and they are going to find stuff but it's going to be hard. I can't stop thinking about you friends. You are struggling, You have lost someone you love, there is an empty seat at your table, and you are not far from my thoughts as I sit here. I am sensitive in writing anything at all, but I'm encouraging even myself to see through the fog. 

This journey continues to amaze me. I feel like God has picked this life for me for so many reasons and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful someone bigger than me has a better plan for me. I'm thankful I am loved when I fail and when I don't. 

I have also been encouraged by my best that even though I say I am so thankful that I have to be real, atleast to her. So that's the same for you, friends. You can be thankful and still admit your struggles. You can sit around the table this week and cry because you momma isn't there and be thankful for things throughout the day too. One doesn't override the other. Thankfulness if practiced as a disciple will start to overtake the hard and the sad but it won't ever replace the real, hard corners that will always be there. I know this. So I can say how thankful I am, but that doesn't mean the road ahead is clear or easy. Although I can name the good things way more abundantly and frequently before I knew what it was to be truly thankful. 

"When your mind is occupied with thanking Me, you have no time for worrying or complaining. If you practice thankfulness consistently, negative thought patters will gradually grow weather and weaker. Draw near to ME with a  grateful heart and my presence will fill you with JOY and peace." Jesus Calling

I am sitting here at the center island of my parents house. Surrounded by a home full of the people I love the most and really nothing could be better. It's in the moments like this that I have to see all that is around me, and it's much. I wish in some way I could spend time thanking each and everyone of you, so that you know how much you mean to me, to us. In a good way we have been overwhelmed with love and support and your prayers have brought us through. Today Im thankful for YOU friends. 

I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart;

    before the gods I sing your praise;

I bow down toward your holy temple

    and give thanks to your name for your steadfast love and your faithfulness,

    for you have exalted above all things

    your name and your word. 

On the day I called, you answered me;

    my strength of soul you increased. 

All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord,

    for they have heard the words of your mouth, 

and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord,

    for great is the glory of the Lord. 

For though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly,

    but the haughty he knows from afar. 

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,

    you preserve my life;

you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,

    and your right hand delivers me.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

    your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

    Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 138