on a mission to live

There's just some days where you feel his presence so deeply.

Some days your prayers turn out answered just the way you want them. 

There's just some days when you feel like no matter what is next you are being carried and don't even have to walk through it yourself. 

I had that day today. 

I will pray and pray that if any circumstances in life change, whatever they will be, that I will feel his unfathomable peace and fully trust his plan no matter what the outcome is for me. There will be things that come. I know that. 

We are driving back, in the pouring rain. I'm trying to decipher in my mind all that happened in this one day God gave me. There is so much. 

NED guys! That is the main thing. And when that is on the line, nothing else seems to really matter. It all becomes an issue of perspective. That's what he gave today. He gave us what we so wanted. Why? I'll never know. Why me and not others? I dont understand. But regardless what my teeny mind can understand, I take this as a mission. He has called me to do more now. So that is what I promise to do. This life, these breaths we take, they are a GIFT. I did nothing to get this, but it's been handed to me, it's what I want no doubt, and I can't make light of it. I've been given tomorrow. 

“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace” (2 Timothy 1:9).

There was a lot to talk about. We still do not have all the scan results, but she did have the main CT and she was confident to say that I looked wonderful. We should get all the results by tomorrow and be 100% able to announce NED, but I am condident at this point to say it. My blood work, well wasnt great. Going through what I did was apparently no joke, and there is still recovering going on. We talked about some options for my leg swelling and lymphodema, there are things we can do as we walk this road. BUT friends, NED. We can fix blood work, and swelling, broken legs, and broken lives, but we cannot fix death. And I am going to do tomorrow and all the days after with perspective as a gift. 

I get to wake up tomorrow, set my feet on the ground, thank HIM and then ask HIM to direct my every step. I'm here to do that, only that, for only him. 

Can I just say... THANK YOU. How can a girl get through this life without an army of support. I never wanted all this, I never wanted to announce my life and open up to everyone about everything. It didn't take long before I realized that no one was made to do this alone, not any of it. Thank you. 

"We do not merit or deserve or earn the Lord and his calling and his kingdom. But in our need God grants us to see them as infinitely precious — infinitely worthy. And we embrace them with desperate desire. We prefer over all. We treasure. We receive. We trust. That is what it means to be “worthy of the Lord.” John Piper

"Let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ” (Philippians 1:27)