Yielding a harvest...

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

When a farmer plows for planting, does he plow continually?(Isaiah 28:24)

One day in early summer I walked past a lovely meadow. The grass was as soft, thick, and beautiful as an immense green Oriental rug. At one end of the meadow stood a fine old tree that served as a sanctuary for countless wild birds, whose happy songs seemed to fill the crisp, sweet air. I saw two cows who lay in the shade as the very picture of contentment. And down by the road, eye-catching dandelions mingled their gold with the royal purple of the wild violets. I leaned against the fence for a long time, feasting my hungry eyes and thinking in my soul that God never made a more beautiful place than this lovely meadow.

The next day I passed that way again, and to my great dismay, the hand of the destroyer had been there. A farmer with a large tractor, which was now sitting idle in the meadow, had in one day inflicted terrible devastation. Instead of seeing the soft, green grass, I now saw the ugly, bare, and brown earth. Gone were the dandelions and the pretty violets. And instead of the multitude of singing birds, there were now only a few, who were industriously scratching the ground for worms. In my grief I said,"How could anyone spoil something so beautiful?"

Then suddenly my eyes were opened, as if by some unseen hand, and I saw a vision. The vision was that of a field of ripe corn ready for harvest. I could see the giant, heavily laden stalks in the autumn sun, and I could almost hear the music of the wind as it swept across the golden tassels. And before I realized it, the bare earth took on a splendor it did not have the day before.

Oh, if only we would always catch the vision of the abundant harvest when the great Master Farmer comes, as He often does, to plow through our very souls—uprooting and turning under that which we thought most beautiful and leaving only the bare and the unlovely before our agonizing eyes. selected

Why should I be frightened and surprised by the plow of the Lord, which makes deep furrows in my soul? I know He is not some arbitrary or irrational farmer—His purpose is to yield a harvest. Samuel Rutherford

Streams In the Dessert

I am so much still a work in progress. I will be until the day I meet eternity. I am not sure where All this I've been through will take me, or if I will continue to endure more, neither is something I will every have an answer to. This week has been a hard one getting back to normal and doing what I so desperately want to do. I want to be with my kids everyday, and be thankful for life and all the blessings he pours out. Being home with all 4 and trying to keep up with all them, break up fights, keeping them busy, is exhausting. I am exhausted. I think, and well so does my oncologist, that  it will take months to recover from the time I was in treatment. Often it takes as long as your body was down to build back up. I have tried to start walking more, but my leg is painful. I have little more of an appetite, but can't get rid of this ongoing thrush in my mouth. I'm still on lots of mediation's and that effects my body too, the way I feel. Sometimes I tell myself, ok we are good, but when I think about it there is still so much.  I cannot complain though, I feel so good. I am beyond thankful. I know that everyday counts and not one single day is a guarantee. I know that at anytime my life could change again and get harder so from now on, these days of being out of treatment and feeling good are such blessings. I will continue to fight that as we go on in this life. I guess we all should.
My friend had a little accident the other day, and it just stunk. It was hard. I got in the car after we had been at her house and just thought, man the days that go by where at the end of them we can just breathe, almost a sigh of relief, are days we need to rejoice in our God. Not that we don't absolutely rejoice in the hard hard days too, but friends there are good days we take for granted. There are so many difficult times, devastating days, emotional periods, but there are also days where we get into bed at night at can be so thankful. For those days and for me just another day without that phone call, or that bad news, or that car accident. Choose Joy.