Making a way

I can't even tell you the amount of times in the last year we have walked through an open door having no idea where its leading. We have been in the deep unknown, and just trusting in God to lead us through some avenues completely out of our knowledge.

I haven't shared at all about the financial stress that cancer puts on a family. The ways that your planning and preparing change when your life circumstances change. The realization that we have been blessed and with that, money is just money. I remember once my mom saying, "we don't take it with us". God has provided for us in many ways financially. There could be blog posts after blog posts on that, but sufficeit to say that when there is a hole, he has filled it. Mostly with his people, ones that have surrounded us and have made their own sacrifices so that in this hard life, we will swim but not sink. We never imagined adding PET scans and the cost of my medical care into our budget. But, that's where we are now. And he will carry us.

 I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you...

Thus says the Lord,

    who makes a way in the sea,

    a path in the mighty waters,

who brings forth chariot and horse,

 army and warrior;

they lie down, they cannot rise,

    they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:

“Remember not the former things,

    nor consider the things of old. 

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

    and rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43

A couple weeks ago I was on the phone with my best, Tara. We were going over my treatment plan from my doctor and the supplements and things that I could start taking finally to aid my body in regaining strength. There are several things that are super awesome for cancer patients, even many specifically for Melanoma survivors. Including the mistletoe. With this our conversation was one again of the stress financially of adding this to our lives too. I wasn't sure how we would be able to continue on this wellness path and the amount of money that it can cost, along with the bills of my conventional medical care.  *By the way I am just upright angered by the fact we pay thousands for healthcare but when it comes to strengthening our bodies to be strong, none of this side of medicine is covered. ok rant over. This won't ever be a blog of my ranting. I save that for my awesome husband and a couple good friends, you now who you are and I love you for listening.

I told Tara that at this point the best thing for me to do would be to just order everything my doctor wants me to have, have her get is for me the first time, and then we can go from there as to what we are looking at and if there is a possibility to get it more cost effective. So I just did it. I had just paid about 370.00 for things to boost my immune and to help make me strong. This would be about a month supply. This also didn't include my mistletoe or my normal health costs. I don't like opening up about money but you need to hear this....

I got off the phone with her. And went to check the mail. This friends. THIS.

And you CANNOT make this stuff up. If anyone calls this a coincidence, you are fighting the truth. And when you can't see a way he literally parts the water and makes a way. He says, "do not fear", he says to me, "do not stress I have this whole cancer thing my sweet daughter, don't you ever carry any of this yourself."

I pick up the phone and call Tara after I sent her the picture. I think I say to her, "is this for real?" I wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one witnessing these surreal events in my life that have seemed to take over. Ok, I did sleep thorough almost a year of my life, and have taken some serious drugs for months, but I'm not dreaming.

Ok so can I tell you how for real this is. Its for real. When you least expect it, when you are worn, broken, lost, and confused. When there seems to be no way, He is making a way. Actually, he's already made one, just go with it friends. Just be willing, to let him make a way, and you will see him start to make a way when there seems to be no way...

God will make a way,
where there seems to be no way;
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me.

He will be my guide,
hold me closely to His side;
With love and strength for each new day,
He will make a way. He will make a way! Don Moen

"Proverbs 4:18 says, “The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (NIV). One day you will stand in the full light of eternity and view the big picture. You’ll see God’s purpose behind the path he specifically chose for you.  In the meantime, do what Proverbs 3 says: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Pastor Rick Warren

AND to the angel, you know who you are, over and over again you know who you are. I don't know why you do what you do. I don't know the sacrifice you are making, but I do know the impact you are making on my life. You are changing me, you have changed me. You clearly don't want me to know who you are, but I know who's working in you.... Thank you.