He's doing a new thing

It's been a great week. I have felt well and enjoyed the warmer weather. My parents arrived this weekend and that alone changes the way I feel. I cried in my mommy's arms at her arrival and I've already told her I'm not sure how I am going to deal with her departure. Until then though I will consider this week a gif; to have my mom and dad here, to enjoy their servant hearts, and hugs. They will be keeping the kiddos busy and doing fun things. My dad doesn't sit still, neither does my mom (you wonder where I get it?) so we have been able to get a few things done around here that needed attention. We switched out clothes for the seasons, and my dad has been all over the yard with power tools. Tomorrow I will sleep and they will play, I'm thankful they are here to spoil my babies with love and attention. It's so needed for them right now. 


It's the time of year that spring is finally upon us. (Thank you Jesus) The sun shining and the possibility of warmer weather does good things to me. I have a little more energy to get out of bed, maybe it's because my 2 year old can break out of the house and run wild in the backyard now. Spring has always been my favorite. Warm sunshine, (which seems weird now) new beautiful blooms, friends and neighbors out and about, lacrosse season, walks to the park, the list is long. I can't help but think of one of my all time favorite verses as now the seasons in life come and go with such a new way of perspective. God is doing, and has already done a new thing to me. The gift of new perspective and a new found ability to simply trust his plan no matter what, is creating in me new life. 

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.

The wild animals honor me,

the jackals and the owls,

because I provide water in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland,

to give drink to my people, my chosen,

 the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise." 

Isaiah 43:18-21

I am putting so much effort into trying not to dwell in the past.  Its a heavy weight to carry to know the realities and possibilities of what we think could happen. But that is narrowing my life into my control and not at all giving control to the one who really has it. I want to accept and let God do a new thing in my life as we go through unknown. I'm trying not to go back to where I felt life was "easy" and "happy". I do not feel there is much quality going there other than being able to see my life and how God has shaped me. I want so much to be able to push only forward in my journey and laugh without fear of the future.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." Proverbs 31:25

I strive to be someone who will stumble in life, but never in my faith. I've watched my tulips this year more than the other. It's been such a cold winter and there are a few of them that just seem like they don't want to make it. They have though, they are pushing through so many elements that would not at all lend aid into even a possibilty of a beautiful blossom. God shows up in my everyday even when its just me and a tulip blossom. He's teaching me in his presence though and helping me to see the great, and the blessing, and that there is so much purpose and beauty in really hard elements and he's right here doing it with me.  Even through seemingly impossbile circumstances he can use us, give life filled with Joy in the Holy Spirit, and turn everything into beautiful blossoms. I will thank him for allowing me to see and feel this over the next few months when all things become new again, when the trees bloom, and when I try to plant all my flowers on my patio. I will be thankful, and I will choose joy. Look at the intricacies of the next flower bloom you come across, think about everything it took for that happen. You are just as beautiful my friend and not one beautiful bloom turns from seed to flower overnight.

"My life was merely one detail in a beautifully crafted story that opened at the dawning of time. Cancer, although wretched and worth of grief, wasn't the defining characteristics of my life. Or anyone else's life. It was merely scenery in a vast and glorious story. God created. God blessed. God rejected. God mourned. God promised. God loved. God gave. God healed. God rescued. God redeemed. God will come again!" Undone

When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom. Say yes to the ways I work in your life. Trust Me, and don’t be afraid.

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.”

—Isaiah 12:2

I had my 6 months appointment this afternoon with my oncologist surgeon at Hershey medical. Has it really been 6 months? Unfathomable. I can't even believe it. Seems like yesterday I walked into that surgery with implications of life changing outcomes. It's been amazing to see Gods protection over me, his provision, and feeling cared for. The side effects from my major surgery have been manageable.  I have gotten to know quite the facets of the medical community because of them but through that I have learned the purpose in medical specialty and I'm thankful for that.  I've been having nerve damage and nerve pain issues. My physical therapist has been helpful and so has the pain doctor but my surgeon would like for me to see a neurologist at this point. All of my pain and nerve interruption is normal but many times there are things that's can help the nerves heal better. At this point hitting 6 months and still having some of these pains it would not be out of the ordinary to see a specialist.  I kinda at this point wonder what specialist I haven't seen yet. I told Kevin as long as it's not an OB I will be ok with another doctors appointment for another issue. Other than the nerve damage my surgeon was encouraged with my progress and happy to see me doing well. She was again encouraging to mention that my disease found was small and hopes that we never see it again. Its good to hear someone you respect so much say these words, seems like so many times you are a statistic and she has never fit me in that mold. 

 My surgeon is leaving hershey. She will head off to California to where her fiancé lives. Today was my last visit with her. I wrote her a note telling her how thankful I am for her. I wrote how I prayed for her and she was a blessing and gift to me; not only because she saved my life but because she encouraged and did well with us. I  will now see her partner who is taking over her patients, she is also an amazing Surgeon and was highly recommended. I'm not concerned with the switch for now, because I have hope I won't ever need an oncologist surgeon again. I will continue to see the new surgeon every 6 months for several years just for follow up. 

Praying with my parents tonight, Kev, Heather, the girls, Tara, and her babies, was a special time. The girls even giggled through prayer times and my heart felt full. Tomorrow I will sleep and allow my body to fight. Pray for me, against side effects, and for strength emotionally and physically. 

(This was on the wall at Hershey today, with my little black ribbon in the center)