Tuesday comes again

Has it really been another week? Has it really been days since my parents pulled away and we all bawled our eyes out? Do you know how you feel on a Sunday night, after the weekend has faded? That reality pressure that overwhelms as we look ahead to another week of routine and to-dos. Time to get things in order and back to the grind. That is how my Tuesday are now. By Monday I am feeling my best and by Tuesday I wake up and start dreading doing hard again. It feels like the best weekend is over and I have to start my work week again. And its a hard work week. 

Over all I had an extremely great week. We had so much fun with my parents here. The kids were loved on and spoiled just like they needed so much. I was able to sleep a lot and get good rest. It was good for our souls too. I had many satisfying and blessed conversations with my mom and dad. It was so nice. I am feeling good to. Again its amazing how well, so we will be thankful and keep walking through, no race or sprint, but just getting from one place to another. I had a reaction this week at the injection site. I switch arms to avoid this so pray that I do not have a reaction in my other arm this week. My body has already shown signs of rejection and in a way allergic reaction to the medicine early on, so we are hoping this isn't a beginning of that. I'm not going there at this point. My body feels well over all. I am good now at being able to see a decline in my blood counts and I think that this week I have remained pretty steady. Praise Jesus for that. And I have hope that we get through this week the same.

Goodness though, its always something. Even in the best week there is hard, there are appointments, there are medical bills to pay, there are calls being made to doctors, pharmacy visits, and counseling appointments. There is also errands to run, dentist appointments, emails to be sent, child raising, husband loving, and a GOOD good faithful God, loving me in my exhaustion and overwhelming times. There are friends calling and emailing me to share parts of themselves that allows me to fight another day because I am encouraged again by his purpose, his perfection.

The wind and waves surround me
And I'm tossed, Feel like I'm drowning
I am tired, I am weak
I need you here with me
'Cause I can feel the rising tide
But I don't have the strength to fight
I feel clouded and confused
I need you here with me

In the chaos of the storm
I have drifted far; far away
But I call out your name
'Cause you are just a breath
A breath away

Then through the shadows
Your light appears
I've known you're with me
But now it is clear
I can feel you
Jesus All around

Like sun on my skin
Warm to the touch
Here you surround me
I am held by love
I can feel you
Jesus all around

Now hope is rushing through my veins
With everything you've rearranged
I am peaceful; I am brave
When you're here with me

All my questions find their answers here
When you come you change the atmosphere
I am focused; I am clear
When you're here with me
There is nothing in this world
That will satisfy my soul like you do 

-Bethel Music

So tonight I took my shot, I'm all drugged up, and ready to fight this thing for what usually seems to be worse for about 24 hours. Like my mother in law, Shirley tells me, now it's time for me to go into rest and restore mode. It's hard to shut off and hang up my many hats for this every week, but I can do it, and I'm actually getting better at it. Thanks for walking through this with us, for your daily encouragement and lifting up. Thanks for your prayers, I need them so much. I feel so much, his love everyday, through so many of you. I want to have the time to tell every one of you how you have filled a hole in my when it was empty.

"I have taken a path of seeking grace. It sounds trite putting those words on paper. Perhaps it is. But if God has called me to this hard story, His promise is one of sufficient grace. Sufficient for me, sufficient for my guy, sufficient for my littles." -Kara Tippetts

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

2 Corinthians 12:9