Day 3: Stillness

3. Stillness

I am learning to quality of being still. I've been forced to slow down, experience life at turtle speed. My eyes have been opened more in being still and I've experienced God more in being still. This was perhaps the hardest part of my journey the past year, but one of the greatest blessings, that has produced the most fruit. I have had more time with my babies, more time to read and write, more time for conversation REAL conversation, more time to love, more time to pray. I have been able to sit in stillness, not feeling well at all, but still regardless and see God moving so perfectly throughout my life and so many others surrounding me. I have testimonies to tell of how his fingerprints are all over this life, stories, real stories. I want to make some challenge to everyone who is in question, I want to somehow prove the reality of the Holy Spirit. I want to say just slow down and you will see, you will. The problem is no one can even begin to understand that challenge. We don't have time anymore. Priorities are made and practiced and we hardly ever sit still no matter what we have carved out room for. It's just this way of life. The life when I ran like a hamster in a wheel until God said to me STOP!!! And here is Cancer so you will. Then I did. I had surgeries, I had hospital visits, I had sick upon sick days, I drove hours and hours to the oncologist, I prayed through PET scans. Call it whatever you want but my life became STILL in a whole new definition of still. There is no more chore in finding time to fit in God, because he comes everywhere with me. He leads my way, he walks us through, he understands when our tears pour, and he gives his graces, his perfect love, and his understanding because he created us to be just this way he already knows. I pray pray pray that as I get back to feeling better, and start running around as a crazy mom of four, that I can be thankful for the recovery but never forget the closeness I experienced in stillness.

Be still my heart and know, You are God alone

Stop thinking so much, And just let go

Be still my soul and rest, Humbly I confess

In my weakness, Your strength is perfect

Bethel Music

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
     He restores my soul.
Psalm 23