Day 4: SURRENDER

4. Surrender.

 "If any of you wants to be my followers, 

you must put aside your selfish ambition,
shoulder your cross, and follow me."
Matthew 16:24

"Surrendering your life means:

• Following God's lead without knowing where he's sending you;

• Waiting for God's timing without knowing when it will come;

• Expecting a miracle without knowing how God will provide; 

• Trusting God's purpose without understanding the circumstances.

You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation. You let go and let God work. You don't have to always be in charge. Instead of trying harder, you trust more." -Rick Warren

Through trust and dependance I am learning to let go of all the control I had over my life, my kids life, my medical expertise, my strong opinions and give it all up to someone other than me. I have seen through doing this that ultimately God is there and will provide and take care of all the details. I had the realization, like the real deal, where if I wasn't here could I trust them in everyones hands but my own? I found out that yes, my babies are really His, and that He will be faithful to complete his good work in them too. I have surrendered that motherly, I'm the best and the only one who knows best, control. I have tried to accept his plan for my life and give up what I thought was better. It was hard to get a cancer and life thretening diagnosis, then find the right doctor to have my life in their hands. It was hard to let people have my children and trust they would be fine. I before cancer never needed help, never needed advice, never needed anyone to save me. I mean I did, but didn't think I did. I learned that through a cancer diagosis and treatment you surrender what you have thought is best for you to do what thing you have to do. Drugs that control, sickness and envelopes, surgeries that save your life, people telling me what to do because they are my caretakers and I need to listen to them. I had to surrender my self image self preservation to give up what scars may look like or what complicatiosn I may have because the alternative was not to be here.

I am also learning to surrender to the fact that God is enough. If nothing else ever works out, and everything never goes again the way I thought, then will trusting God be enough? Will he, through the rest of my days and experiences be enough? He is all that I need. If I never understand the struggles in life and have all my questins answered, I've surrenedered to the fact that God is still enough. As I'm learning the expectations of complete surrender and what that looks like I have experienced far more than I ever imagined. Letting Go, and letting God. More of him and less of me. You see I don't believe this just happens to someone overnight, or I wouldn't have before last August,  just have woken up and decided, "hey today I'm going to fully surrender".  It's circumstances that cause us to trust and surrender. It's when he calls us to a chosen path, not the one we drew up in our heads, but the one he made for us, because it fits into his miraculous and perfectly orchestrated ultimate story. So because of my path, It was easy to surrender. I actually had to, i had to surrender control. The choice I did have in surrender was to whom would I be entrusting my surrender to. And why not the creator of all things perfect? So I guess whatever it is today that you may be struggling to let go of why not try to look to Him and fully surrender to what he has for you.

"But because I believe God's plans for me are better than what I could plan for myself, greater than run away from the path he has set before me, I want to run toward it. I don't want to try to change God's mind-his thoughts are perfect. I want to think his thoughts. I don't want to change God's timing-his timing is perfect. I want to grace to accept his timing. I don't want to change God's plan-his plan is perfect. I wan tot embrace his plan and see how he is glorified through it. I want to submit." Nancy Guthrie, Holding on to Hope

"The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us." Ann Voscamp

"True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it." Oswald Chambers

"I want your will to be done, not mine." 

Matthew 26:39

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding."

Proverbs 3:5Amplified Bible (AMP)