Grateful I faced today

We had been looking forward to this weekend for a long time. We have yet to miss a Messiah homecoming and this year was our 10 year reunion. We were going to attend the banquet or at least the lunch, but of course like I've said before why make plans because it never happens the way you think. If you don't know us that well Kev and I both have a love for lacrosse. We both played at Messiah College and came out here to play. I also played Field Hockey. Sports were my love, my outlet, where I learned so many life lessons. Kev and I are both forever grateful for our coaches who molded and mentored us, and for our teammates who encouraged us.  We have a love for both the teams that will always exist in our hearts. We both coached after we graduated, Kev helped when he could, I coached for years. I would go back to that time in a heartbeat, what sweet sweet memories were made. Relationships were planted and have grown since and that has been such a gift. Ok back to this years homecoming now that you have a background...

It's been hard for me to get out. Not only physically, because honestly if you saw me right now you would never know anything was wrong. (another reason everyday I look into people eyes and wish I knew there story and pray God continues to give me that compassion to love because everyone is hurt and broken somehow) Emotionally it's hard to corral myself to get up and moving and to motivate myself to answer the dreaded, "hey how are you?" question from strangers a zillion times over. It's hard to pretend I'm normal, whatever the heck normal is. We decided this year just to can all the reunion stuff and make it over to see our lax families. Family. Yes that's what they are to us. Kev loves his guys, and they are an awesome group of dudes. I love my girls, the ones I played with, coached, coached with, and now cheer on and hope to get to know. I was nervous about the day but God again sent special blessings to our family yesterday that we will never forget.  All my girls painted their nails pink for me, because I'm a pink lover. And between both of the alumni games the men's and women's teams gathered in the middle of our field and prayed over my family. Coach Greer led them and young men and women prayed for me and my family and it was so so sweet. I cried through the whole thing. I just kept thinking, I'm so undeserving of this love and support. To my MClax family, thank you, you blessed me and showed me that true love of Jesus, the real thing. God's gracious hug was felt right there in that moment like the ones I've talked about previously. He know when I need it and he just shows up to tell me he's here. 

This weekend was just what I needed. Time with my husband and kids, time spent with special friends old and new. Looking toward the week is overwhelming especially because I want to tackle it myself and have some normal with my family. I just have to keep reminding myself that I have today and I'm thankful for it. I can't waste another minute not being thankful to see how Gods hand is so perfectly holding my story. I have to admit my deep deep need for him to comfort me when I'm lost, to love me when I'm broken, and to remind me of his promises when I start to look too far ahead and get off track. I realize when I start to get anxious or have irrational thoughts and fear that I am seeing the future without Christ in it. Because if I look ahead and see him first, honestly all the other details will fall into place. 

You'll never know the goodness of God in the day ahead if you aren't courageous enough to step out into it and face it...