Speechless

Speechless 

I've had quite a few moments over the past few weeks where I have been just left speechless. Actually maybe best way to say it is in awe. I mean Gods love is so real. Let me share just one story... (There are dozens more) 

I've had a lot of hard days, well hard to say the least. I've cried more tears in the last few weeks than I have my entire life. I think I've said this before. Tears of sadness, tears of mourning, but also tears of joy and tears of a feeling that I cannot quite explain.

 One particularly day I just felt down. I has recieved results that cancer had spread to my lymph system, which I knew was a scary place that I would be in.. forever. I needed more scans, tests, appts, surgery, and was feeling weak and scared. Then a package arrived at my door. Other gifts and packages had been arriving but this box was different. It was all decorated with yellow and sun pictures. A warning label was on the outside about the amount of rays of sun that would come when I opened the box. When I opened it I was amazed. It was such a well thought of gift. There was some special thing about it just something.

Notecards with bible verses, candy, candles, all kinds of gifts, notebooks, and a necklace from an etsy store with words from Hillsongs, Ocean. God's truth poured out all over the place. I was crying and my mom and I were looking through the basket. My mom searched every little nook and cranny to find any sign of who sent it. Nothing. Nowhere. Annonymous. Another hug sent by God? I thought, like I had a couple times by this point, could this be for real, like God sent me this just when I needed it and it was delivered to my doorstop from the UPS man? Weird. My mom took pics of the box and then we noticed an address in the corner of the shipping label. Ah ha! Caught! It came from someone! I'm going to get to the bottom of this I thought. I'm sure someone I know bought this for me, probably from an etsy site, one of my good friends and I need to be able to thank them. I mean they made my day brighter, literally. So I searched etsy. Nothing. Searched Google. Nothing. Searched facebook, ah ha! There is someone by this name on facebook. She lives in Ohio and must have a business. I friend her and leave it  that for a couple weeks, there was other stuff going on. Ha. Other hugs kept coming in, a friends entire bible study sent me cards, gift cards, pictures, gifts, I mean a whole group of women, many whom I've never met left me again in awe crying in my kitchen. People are so good. God's used people to comfort me when I'm in need. 

This morning oct 2, Heather and I were sitting talking about a few people we know need some rays of sun. We talked about how it would bless a few others and how much of a gift it was to me when I needed an encouragement and it showed up at the right time. I decided to go stalker and facebook mesasge this stranger that sent me this special and encouraging gift. I explained this is weird but I think I recieved a gift from her, I said it was so special and thanked her. I asked her if she had a business and that I would like to know about it and then apologized for maybe being weird if I totally had the wrong person. That was it. I Wondered if I would ever hear back.

Then this is the response recieved this afternoon...

I cried those tears I referred to as ones I can't explain. It's joy, but more like this feeling of well, it's Gods love. I mean all I know how to deal with it is cry. Reminds me of that I can only imagine song, what will it be like when we see his face. Emotions of Gods love overflowing from true Angels on earth. I've never met this person, she doesn't know me, we will probably never meet. This my blog readers is called the Holy Spirit, the spirit of God working through his people to show his love the way he created it to be. It's good stuff, it's like I've said before it's the real thing. This one person, a complete stranger doing something that seems so little can impact SO many. Sometimes we sit around twiddling our thumbs trying to find out how to live out our purpose, and sometimes it's a little opportunity right within our reach. This story wont end here... I fee so blessed. I wish I could hand out a snapshot of my life to people so they could embrace this feeling. 

I responded to her that I was in tears, I was speechless. Thank you I said, you have blessed me more than you know... She gave me a simple response and I'm crying as I write it in... "We serve a great God, and you have blessed me" 

In awe.

"Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. "

Hab 3:2

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and AWE, for our God is a consuming fire" 

Heb 12:28

This doesn't end here. I have never felt this nearness and this closeness ever before. I could write about 30 posts just like this proving clearly the love of God and I will share more. It's real, accept it, live it, and be thankful for this. And to Jenni, my newly connected to "sister in Christ" thank you. You have no idea the impact you just made...